HR for Non-HR Leaders: Why Clarity Is the Kindest Leadership Skill
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Recently, the Retreat Center Collaboration gathered for another Tea with Tatyana, a monthly conversation led by HR consultant Tatyana Sanikovich. This session focused on a reality many leaders quietly carry: leading people without formal HR training, support, or infrastructure.
The conversation was practical, honest, and deeply resonant—especially for leaders in retreat centers, nonprofits, and mission-driven organizations.
If You Lead People, You’re Already Doing HR
One truth anchored the entire conversation:
If you supervise people, you are already doing HR—whether or not it’s in your job title.
HR isn’t just policies or handbooks. It lives in everyday leadership moments:
How feedback is offered (or avoided)
How expectations are set—or left unclear
How pay, workload, and boundaries are handled
How conflict and difficult conversations are approached
These daily decisions shape workplace culture far more than any written policy ever could.
Kindness vs. Clarity: A Common Leadership Trap
In mission-driven spaces, kindness and compassion are core values. But Tatyana invited leaders to examine an important distinction:
Kindness is about intention
Clarity is about impact
Many leaders soften messages to spare feelings, believing this will make outcomes gentler. In reality, lack of clarity often leads to confusion, resentment, burnout, and harder conversations later.
Participants recognized familiar patterns:
Avoiding feedback to protect relationships
Saying “I’ll look into it” instead of offering a clear yes or no
Over-accommodating in ways that create inequity
Letting ambiguity linger, hoping issues resolve themselves
Avoidance, Tatyana reminded the group, is not neutral. It snowballs.
Leadership Is an Identity Shift
Moving into leadership often requires shifting from being the “doer” or “rescuer” to becoming the person whose clarity shapes the system. That shift can be uncomfortable—especially for compassionate leaders used to jumping in to help.
Some key leadership shifts named:
From being “nice” to being honest and steady
From rescuing to creating shared agreements
From relying on intuition alone to pairing it with structure
From carrying everything solo to seeking support
Structure isn’t corporate rigidity—it’s a form of care. Clear roles, expectations, boundaries, and feedback loops help people succeed.
Silence Creates Culture
One line from the session lingered: What’s not named gets normalized.
When leaders don’t address issues—inequities, underperformance, boundary violations—those behaviors become part of the culture. People notice who gets away with what. Over time, trust erodes.
Leadership isn’t just what’s said. It’s what’s consistently modeled.
The Hardest—and Most Compassionate—Decisions
The group also reflected on difficult leadership moments: performance issues, pay decisions, and endings. Drawing on years of HR experience, Tatyana named a hard truth:
Prolonged ambiguity is often more harmful than clean endings.
When leaders already know something isn’t working, delaying the decision drains energy and creates instability for everyone involved. Handled with clarity, care, and dignity, even endings can become moments of integrity and growth.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Leadership can be isolating—especially in small organizations without HR departments. Tatyana encouraged leaders to seek trusted thought partners: coaches, consultants, peers, or advisors outside their organization.
Reaching out is responsible leadership, especially when:
Considering termination
Feedback isn’t landing or behavior isn’t changing
Navigating compensation concerns
Feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or losing sleep over people decisions
Final Reflections
Participants left with a shared understanding:
Clarity is an act of compassion
Boundaries and follow-through rebuild trust
Leaders can only control their own clarity and consistency
Writing down one concrete next step matters
This session reminded us that HR isn’t a department—it’s a daily leadership practice.
For leaders in retreat centers and mission-driven spaces, the invitation is simple and brave:
Be kind, yes—but be clear.
